Now, for most people, this was just a minor disappointment, but for those of us who were so obsessed with Star Wars that it gave us the attention spans necessary to read 600-page Star Wars novels in the fourth grade, this was devastating. I had done homework assignments about the Special Edition re-releases; I had the premiere date for The Phantom Menace written on my sheet music in my orchestra class so I could count down to it everyday. It felt my entire life had been building up to this moment.
I was so excited for it that I couldn't tell it sucked for probably more than a year. I kept trying to defend it. "Yeah, Jar Jar is terrible, but 'Duel of the Fates' is such a good song!" "Yeah, Anakin is so annoying, but Darth Maul, I guess?" I know I am not alone in this hype and inevitable disappointment. I recommend to anyone who reads this the movie Fanboys, which perfectly captures the obsession of a group of Star Wars nerds in the weeks leading to Episode I's release, to the point where they decide to break into George Lucas' home.
Anyway, all of my hopes were pinned to the belief that Lucas was simply just rusty after decades of not directing anything. Episode II would certainly be better! Spoiler alert: it was, but only in the way that a crusty rash is better than a weeping rash. Sorry for the grotesquerie, but I am a medical student who still feels betrayed. I still believed in Lucas' redemption, however, and, Episode III was watchable. But it definitely was not good, at least not Original Trilogy good.
In resignation I accepted that it was over. It was probably better that way; it just goes to show that some things are better left alone. Yet, part of me was still a believer. I felt I could fix it somehow.
So, in October 2012, when Disney shockingly announced that it had acquired Lucasfilm and would immediately begin work on Star Wars Episode VII, my hope burned bright again. Nevermind Disney's rushed, assembly-like plan to put out yearly Star Wars films (that is a discussion for another time), I now knew for sure: someone, someday was going to remake the Prequels. It was only a matter of time, and I was going to be the one who wrote them.
My entire life since that point has been a careful scheme to ensure that when the right money-obsessed Disney CEO proposes a remake of Episode I, Kathleen Kennedy was going to give me a call. My plan is as follows:
Step 1: Go to medical school, become a doctor, and meanwhile write a blog that my brother might read if he has time.
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Be the writer for one of the largest franchises in human history.
This is where I got the idea!
So, what I will begin to share with you today are some of my insights to fixing these movies. I have been considering this for some time, and I know that others have shared brilliant ideas on how it can be done, but I just want to make it clear that I have developed my ideas independently! Just ask my brother who sometimes reads this blog (if he has the time)! But I do recommend watching these videos:
The truth is that I share a lot of ideas with that guy and, if I were the actual writer, I would try to get him hired too. But where we differ is I believe that there is a way to remake the Prequels without completely expunging the originals from existence.
I am also a big fan of Daniel O'Brien's take at Cracked.com. But while I will discuss changing or elaborating on certain plot points, these series of posts will be more focused on repairing the structure and message of the movies. They are as follows:
Restoring Balance to the Force
Episode I: The Restructuring of the Plot
Episode II: Simplicity Strikes Back
Episode III: Return of Philosophy
So without further ado, here is Episode I!
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